House Advisor Becomes Drunk With Power, Imposes Martial Law on Dorm

          The past few weeks have been wrought with stress in the lives of one dorm on campus, after their House Advisor has become inexplicably engulfed in his own newfound authority. But yesterday afternoon he took advantage of sub-clause 1B in the Dorm Rulebook, allowing him to impose Martial Law on his whole dorm. He was able to do this because of the series of instances of vandalism throughout the dorm in the past 36 hours, which enabled him to declare a State of Emergency and seize control. He has now imposed a 10 pm curfew, daily house meetings and morning check-in at 7 am.
         Many students are visibly frazzled, and question the ease at which he seized power. One terrified junior said that the residents were frequently disrupted by megaphone announcements projected down the halls. A member of the campus patrol said that the house advisor was demanding a student guard outside his offices whenever he was working there. And one freshman who was called into his office for an interrogation said he would frequently look at himself in the mirror and even called himself "General Cornholio." It remains to be seen if the State of Emergency will lighten anytime soon. This reporter will be checking in from the front lines.