Horrific Accident Fails to Dissuade Mason Jar Use

          You've seen them around on campus, carrying their liquid in mason jars or old pickle containers. You might have wondered why, if someone can afford 56k for tuition, they cannot afford to purchase a cup. This affectation, usually associated with hipsters but not contained to them, is confusing to the rest of us with stainless steel water bottles, plastic cups, or even those odd bag-bottles. The dangers of carrying around these glass containers came to a head yesterday when Izzy Able, a junior, lost the tips of 3 fingers and needed 10 stitches after falling and having his hand crushed by the breaking glass.
          But neither Izzy nor his fellow Mason Jar users have changed their mind about using these delicate glass containers. "It's all we have in our TH; I don't see any problem with them. This was just a freak accident" says Izzy. Maybe, maybe not. The Security Task Force has recorded 26 Mason jar related accidents in the last two years alone, totaling in a loss of 8.3 fingers, 150 stitches and one broken nose. Perhaps a ban is in order, à la the bottled water ban, or maybe those users could find a safer way to carry their drinks.