BREAKING NEWS ---- Last night in a undisclosed campus dorm, security came across a pile of hair in the 2nd shower stall, obviously left there by someone who wanted to get rid of it. Security has dropped everything and is launching a comprehensive investigation to find who the hair belongs to and why they would want to stash it in the drain of a shower.
Security is concerned that if the perpetrator is left undisciplined, it will result in absolute chaos and disorder.
There have been several leads. A few weeks ago, one student saw saw the professor known as "The Lion" leaving the dorm in a towel. Another student has just come forward claiming to have seen a trash bag full of hair in the president's office. So far the security team is on high alert, and would appreciate any new leads or tips (call 555-1337).
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