One of the more memorable professors on campus has just been unmasked as being a regular homeless guy. He was most well known as "The Lion" (birth name: John Johnson) but also responded to Jimmy, Stanky Leg, Sibyl, Rocket Booster, and Cappé. Frequently seen on campus, he was quite well-known.
Students were shocked to learn his real identity. "I had Professory Smigle last spring! He taught that course on Reaching Religious Heights Within Means. Wait..." replied one sophomore. One junior reported that Coach Mudslides had coached the Ultimate Frisbee team to victory last May, and another claimed that they frequently discussed philosophy with him outside the library.
These students all described the same slight, oddly dressed man with wiry glasses and figure. His true identity was revealed when campus patrol arrested him last night for sleeping under the dining hall pavilion. He possessed no ID, but did have a Buy 7 Get 1 Free card from the Krafted Kup.
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