Shared Segway Program Boasts Few Injuries, Community Feeling

One student enjoys a ride on her shared Segway.

           Desperate to prove that communities can have successful shared transportation programs, the school has invested in a fleet of twenty Segways this semester. Unlike the Shared Bike Program, the Shared Segway Program  has been met with complete cooperation. The bike program was shut down because most of the bikes wound up damaged and those that survived were being hoarded by a select few, a conclusion that should have been foreseen considering that there has never been a successful shared bike program anywhere, ever.

           Piggybacking off the success of the Zip Cars, it was decided that a more expensive piece of technology would be better treated by users. The school purchased the economic i2 Commuter model, which at 105 pounds can go at most 12.5 mph. Because the Segway must be recharged every night, it will be harder for students to hoard, and ensure that each day the fleet is checked for damages. Each student must undergo a training seminar to be eligible to participate.

           Now in week three of the program, the results are in: success! Students report that the Segways ease travel time and are for the most part simple to use. Only two students have suffered injuries as a result of use, and that was because they attempted to have a Segway Duel. Fortunately, no harm came to the machines.

           To participate, contact the new Segway Department at 555-3425 to fill out an application today!